Life Without Children's List of Resources

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This article is a living dossier of resources for people without children. It is updated regularly. If you have a relevant resource that you would like included, please complete this form.

Please feel free to use the comments section to mention resources or social media platforms that you enjoy and recommend.

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It’s normal not to want children. And sadly, it’s also normal to want them but not be able to have them.

Living a life without children, whether by choice or circumstances, can be riddled with nuance, stigma, and sometimes loneliness. I recognise the privilege of those for whom this is a choice.

The grief of being childless not by choice can feel deeply disenfranchised. While those choosing not to have children are often infantilised.

Society doesn’t know what to do with us outliers.

No matter how we got to our lives without children, our human experience has commonalities of feelings of exclusion, being less-than and being told we are lacking. It can be isolating, exhausting and infuriating.

This handbook of resources for navigating life without children contains signposts to spaces and resources to help you where you are now. Whether you need space to grieve or meet like-minded people, there’s something for everyone.

A word of caution

Where appropriate, I have subdivided the resources into childless, childfree and inclusive subcategories.

While part of me prickles at the optics of this divide, it would be remiss not to recognise that not everyone feels comfortable or ready to be in spaces that aren’t dedicated to others in the same situation as them.

Pick and choose the resources that best suit you, and disregard the others.

And please do drop a comment with your recommendations.

1. Community

We are social creatures. Being part of a community is instrumental to our sense of well-being and belonging.

Childless not by choice

• Childless Collective is a place of compassion and healing for childless not by choice women and non-binary people—a place for building friendships and finding peace and meaning again.

Find out more here.

• Childless Men’s Community is a group housed on Facebook, providing community, connection and understanding for men.

Find out more here.

• Full Stop Community is linked to the same-titled podcast and is dedicated to building cohesion and safety in the childless community.

Find out more here.

• Gateway Women is the advocacy work birthplace of Jody Day. Full to the brim of resources for those without children through infertility or circumstances.

Find out more here.

Jody also has the Substack Gateway Elderwomen.

• Bindi Shah Meditations is a safe place for CNBC people to come together for sharing and healing, led by the shining light that is Bindi Shah.

Find out more here.

Childfree by choice

• We are Childfree is a large online and in-person community for childfree people specifically. It is led by Zoë Noble and James Glazebrook, whose relentless work is helping childfree people step out of the shadows and stop shrinking themselves. There is no shame in choosing not to have children.

Find out more here.

We Are Childfree is also here on Substack.

• The Childfree Connection is another online community with plenty of content, such as a podcast, YouTube videos, and a membership community. This is a place to find like-minded people navigating their childfree lives.

Find out more here.

Inclusive

• Childless Storyhouse is an annual event for all non-parents—a place to listen, learn, connect and bloom. The event takes place in Chester, UK in September.

Find out more here.

Join the Facebook group.

• Aging Without Children (AWOC) this resource isn’t limited to just those without children. It also includes those whose children have predeceased them, or who are estranged from their children, or whose children live far away. An advocacy group to ensure those most vulnerable are represented.

Find out more here.

• The Non-Mum Network pitches itself as mumsnot, the antithesis of mumsnet. A place for all non-mothers.

Find out more here.

• Women Without Kids is the community group based on the roaring success of Ruby Warrington’s book, which goes by the same title.

Find out more here.

• Making Meaning Without Kids is a newsletter for anyone who is aging without children, whether by choice or by circumstance. It is also a community where members can gather around the topics of making meaning, reclaiming legacy, exploring nontraditional life scripts, and journeying together through grief and joy as women and individuals without children.

Find out more here.

If you would like your community included, please complete this form. We would particularly like to include better options for men and the LGBTQIA+ community.

2. Therapists

Depending on where you are on your journey, you may benefit from therapy.

• Margaret O’Connor at Are Kids For Me Counselling Service. Margaret provides counselling to individuals/couples who are not sure if they want to have children or not, or who have made the decision to be childfree. She also has a podcast of the same name where she discusses themes around this topic.

• Sarah Lawrence at After The Storm. Sarah provides counselling services specifically for childless people to help them work through grief and trauma in a safe and trigger-free environment. Sarah is also one-third of The Full Stop Podcast.

• Christina Algeciras is a licensed psychotherapist, multicultural and first-generation American. She is childfree and am adept at helping people navigate the childfree decision-making process and/or validating of the childfree choice. She works from a depth-oriented, somatic, and trauma-informed perspective.

• Jackie Toth at Jackie Toth LMFT offers individual therapy and group support for individuals without kids, either by choice or circumstance. She works from a radical grief and depth-psychological framework, assisting clients with navigating the terrain of grief to more deeply root into a meaningful and presenced life.

Gateway Women also has an extensive list of childless practitioners.

If you are a therapist and would like to be listed here, please complete this form.

3. Books

Whether fact or fiction, many of us turn to books to help untangle our emotions, validate our circumstances and allow us to feel seen.

• The NoMo Book Club is a space to support both non-mother writers and readers, embracing publications with childless and childfree outlooks.

Find out more here.

The NoMo Book Club is also on Substack.

• Nicole Louie, author of Others Like Me: The Lives of Women Without Children, has curated an extensive list on Goodreads titled Women-Without-Children.

Find out more about Nicole and Others Like Me here. You can also find Nicole Louie on Substack.

• Laura Carroll, an internationally recognised expert on the childfree choice and pronatalism, has authored six books and hosts the LiveTrue Books Collection, part of which includes an extensive list of reviews on books about not having children.

Find out more here.

• Nora Vale has created The Space Between Lives: A Thoughtful Guide for One of Life’s Biggest Decisions: Parenthood. This is a guided journal designed to help navigate one of life’s biggest decisions: whether or not to become a parent. This journal is simply a tool - to help stay present, intentional, and in control of their own decision-making process. It is geared towards all genders, and for anyone at any point of their decision-making.

Find out more here.

4. Podcasts

There are many podcasts to choose from, which can be found on your usual podcast platform and sometimes on the host’s website.

• Full Stop Podcast by Berenice Howard-Smith, Sarah Lawrence and Michael Hughs

• The Childfree Girls Podcast by The Childfree Girls

• We are Childfree by Zoë Noble of We are Childfree

• Are Kids For Me by Margaret O’Connor

• Other Than Motherhood by Elizabeth Joy

• The End Of The Line by Injockey Production

• New Legacy Institute by Christine Erickson

• Population Balance by Nandita Banjaj

• Kids or Childfree by Kelty Maquire

If you host a podcast and would like it listed here, please complete this form.

5. Events or dates of note

I’m sure there are more significant dates than this. Do let me know in the comments.

World childless week

This week falls in September each year. It’s for anyone who is childless despite their longing to be a parent because they have never been pregnant (for any reason), not carried full term or have suffered the sadness of a baby born sleeping.

Find out more here.

International Childfree Day: 1st August

Described as a wonderful opportunity to foster the acceptance of the childfree choice in today’s society. Led by Childfree Media.

Find out more here.

Storyhouse Childless

This is usually in September each year. An event dedicated to exploring the nuances of life without children, building community, sharing stories, raising awareness and making connections.

Find out more here.

TFMR Awareness Day

This is usually in May each year. The TFMR (Termination for Medical Reasons, Termination for Maternal / Birthing persons Health reasons, Termination for maternal/birthing persons Mental Health reasons) support association has been formed to create a credible network of TFMR-specific, affirmative and safe organisations, charities and support spaces that are safe for the TFMR community.

Find out more here.

6. Movies

It is exceedingly frustrating that movies and TV shows lack any real childfree and childless representation.

The number of times I’ve watched a film, spurred on by a character being childfree, only for the narrative to have them change their mind. Or the childless couple suddenly get their miraculous baby. Damn you, directors. This is not how the real world works.

All hail to David from Schitt’s Creek!

Marriage and children are not everyone’s happily ever after. And yet, the film industry still thinks it is.

Here are a couple of movie suggestions:

• My So-Called Selfish Life by Therese Shechter

• To Kid Or Not To Kid by Maxine Trump

If you have any movie suggestions that depict honest and healthy representations of people without children, whether by choice or circumstances, please let us know in the comments.

7. Research and science

There are some incredible researchers out there.

• Robin Hadley researches childlessness, and its impact on happiness, well-being and mental and physical health later in life.

Find out more here.

• Drs. Zachary Neal and Jenna Neal are both professors of psychology at Michigan University, where they specialise in research on childfree adults.

Find out more here.

• Dr. Dawn Llewelyn is an Associate Professor of Religion and Gender at the University of Chester. She has been researching, publishing, and speaking publicly about pronatalism for over 12 years. Watch this space for her latest book, which addresses how Christian women understand and manage their reproductive agency and choice.

Dawn is also the co-founder of Storyhouse Childless.

Find out more here.

• Dr. Gayle Letherby has been researching childlessness for decades. A pioneer and leader, and someone we owe a great deal of gratitude to.

Find out more here.

• Dr. Monique Moultrie covers the complex intersections Black women experience with religion, women’s rights, abortion, the childfree choice and LGBTQIA+.

Find out more here.

• Dr. Cristina Archetti is a psychotherapist, researcher and author. She is an expert of grief and trauma in the field of childlessness not by choice.

Find out more here.

Here’s a list of some research pieces that may be of interest.

• Prevalence, age of decision, and interpersonal warmth judgments of childfree adults.

• Having kids makes you happier, but only when they move out.

• Does having children make people happier in the long run?

• Women are happier without children, or a spouse, says happiness expert.

• Among young adults without children, men are more likely than women to say they want to be parents someday

• Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children

Feel free to use the comments section to suggest other researchers or scientific articles.

8. Recommended Substacks

Here are a few Substacks led by people without children. Please use the comments section to drop in links to other Substacks you recommend.

• Sue Fagalde Lick hosts Can I Do It Alone

• Katie Dunn hosts After Glow

• Y.L. Wolfe hosts On the Outside

• Katherine Baldwin hosts From Midlife With Love

• Poorna Bell hosts As I Was Saying

• Katie Jgln hosts The Noösphere

• Kristen Tsetsi hosts The Choice

• Jackie Toth, Childfree LMFT hosts Making Meaning Without Kids

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Social media

I haven’t included social media accounts as I’d be here all day.

If you have an account or recommendations for social media accounts dedicated to non-parents, whether by choice or circumstances, drop them in the comments, and that way, anyone reading this list of resources can read the comments for your social media recommendations.

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