Happily childfree here, and I’m so grateful to have a big Chosen Family of other childfree people in our lives. I got a bit of grief from my mother when I was younger, but have been lucky to have a lot of support from my circle,
Thanks for your tireless work to make childfree people like me feel seen. I've lived my whole adult life being shamed, particularly by my own mother, for not having children. Having children is an "order" In our old tradition and it's considered a breach of "filial piety" if you disobey. It got so ridiculous that even after my menopause, my mom was still nagging me about having a child, and shamed me for not fulfilling the full potential of a woman. Today, you will find a new generation of women in China disobeying their parents by refusing to marry and bear children (for economic reasons as well as for their awakened individual freedom). Huge fights ensue 😱. Anyway, I can see this childfree/childless discussion explode exponentially and globally.
I really love this passage:
"All of us — everyone on this planet — just want to feel like we belong, that we are loved and included. And yet so many of us feel misunderstood."
It mirrors 💯 how I feel (especially being a minority in every aspect of my life!) Thank you once again for this powerful essay.
Thank you for taking the time to share this Lily. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be being a minority in every way and being shamed by your own mother. That can leave a lot to unpack. Hope you have found peace.
Thank you for your kindness, Ali. Yes, it's exhausting to feel dismissed and devalued constantly. It took me 50 years to be able to stand up for myself and have my voice heard without fearing that I was doing something "wrong" and would risk being ostracized. Knowing myself has allowed me to find glorious peace.
Happily childfree here, and I’m so grateful to have a big Chosen Family of other childfree people in our lives. I got a bit of grief from my mother when I was younger, but have been lucky to have a lot of support from my circle,
Excellent article, thank you.💕
Chosen family are the best! Thanks for reading Sheila :-)
Thanks for your tireless work to make childfree people like me feel seen. I've lived my whole adult life being shamed, particularly by my own mother, for not having children. Having children is an "order" In our old tradition and it's considered a breach of "filial piety" if you disobey. It got so ridiculous that even after my menopause, my mom was still nagging me about having a child, and shamed me for not fulfilling the full potential of a woman. Today, you will find a new generation of women in China disobeying their parents by refusing to marry and bear children (for economic reasons as well as for their awakened individual freedom). Huge fights ensue 😱. Anyway, I can see this childfree/childless discussion explode exponentially and globally.
I really love this passage:
"All of us — everyone on this planet — just want to feel like we belong, that we are loved and included. And yet so many of us feel misunderstood."
It mirrors 💯 how I feel (especially being a minority in every aspect of my life!) Thank you once again for this powerful essay.
Thank you for taking the time to share this Lily. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be being a minority in every way and being shamed by your own mother. That can leave a lot to unpack. Hope you have found peace.
Thank you for your kindness, Ali. Yes, it's exhausting to feel dismissed and devalued constantly. It took me 50 years to be able to stand up for myself and have my voice heard without fearing that I was doing something "wrong" and would risk being ostracized. Knowing myself has allowed me to find glorious peace.
Sounds like a long time coming. But you got there!
Brava! I look forward to the day when this does not need to be addressed. Right now, though, I appreciate being seen. <3
Same Kathleen. Thanks for reading.